Gerry Strain's Rise: From Soccer Dreams to Entrepreneurial Success on The Patrick Bass Show

Ever wondered what it takes to turn life's toughest challenges into triumphant success stories? Join us as we uncover the incredible journey of Gerry Strain, a man who rose from modest beginnings in Glasgow, Scotland, to become a professional soccer player and a fearless entrepreneur. Through our conversation, Gerry opens up about his struggles, revealing the crucial moments of rejection and uncertainty that ultimately fueled his relentless drive. By sharing his powerful mindset shifts, Gerry teaches us how to embrace failure, enjoy the process, and transform setbacks into opportunities.

Childhood adversity often leaves a lasting impact, and Gerry's story is no exception. We explore the heavy responsibilities he carried from a young age, the lack of guidance he faced, and the self-doubt that lingered as a result. But Gerry's narrative isn't just about struggle—it's about resilience and the power of a positive mindset. Through his reflections, he shows us how expecting good outcomes and being intentional can lead to success in various fields, including leadership, sports, and business. This episode is a testament to how personal reflection can turn childhood challenges into a source of strength.

Leadership and integrity are put to the test in the world of professional football, and Gerry's experiences offer a masterclass in navigating these complexities. He discusses the ethical dilemmas faced by agents and directors, the battle against corruption, and the importance of maintaining a moral compass. Beyond the football industry, Gerry touches on the challenges of parenting in today's digital age and his dreams of creating a free soccer academy for kids in Scotland. His insights on family, community support, and the importance of living without bitterness provide a roadmap for building a lasting legacy and inspiring future generations.

Chapters

• 0:00 Life and Lessons With Jerry Strain
• 12:57 Discovering Resilience Through Adversity
• 25:53 Empowering Integrity in Leadership
• 36:49 Creating a Lasting Legacy
• 45:00 Parenting Challenges and Generational Shifts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Okay, cue everybody. We're going live in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Speaker 2: 0:08

And now live from Fort Smith, arkansas. This is a Planet Wide Broadcast courtesy of the World Wide Web and affiliate radio stations across the globe. It's the Patrick Bass Show with your host, patrick Bass. Alright, welcome back to the program. This is Patrick Bass on the Patrick Bass Show, with your host, patrick Bass. All right, welcome back to the program. This is Patrick Bass on the Patrick Bass Show.

Speaker 1: 0:31

So incredibly glad that you're with us on what I call a magic carpet ride, as we talk to some of the most innovative and inspiring guests on any radio or podcast show today True disruptors who are experts in their field. It's all right here on the Patrick Bass Show Again, so glad you're here with us. It's Friday, august 9th. If you can believe it already, we're getting to my most favorite time of the year. I'm truly an autumn and winter kind of guy. I don't know about you, but right now we're just in the heat of summer here.

Speaker 1: 1:03

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Speaker 4: 1:50

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Speaker 5: 2:06

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Speaker 4: 2:36

In your face, unfiltered and raw. We're back to it on the Patrick Bass Show. All right.

Speaker 1: 2:59

Welcome back to the program Patrick Bass Show and the Vanguard Radio Network. So glad you're here, pwbasscom. On the program Patrick Bass Show and the Vanguard Radio Network. So glad you're here, pwbasscom on the website. Check it out and see what we have to offer on that amazing platform I mentioned. Today we have a truly dynamic guest joining us. He's a man who has successfully navigated the world of both sports and business with a unique blend of ambition, integrity and just a sharp sense of humor. From humble beginnings, jerry Strain has carved out an impressive career that spans the globe, making a significant impact in the realms of professional soccer and entrepreneurship. His journey is nothing short of inspiring and he's here to tell us all about it. Welcome to the program, jerry Strain. How's it going? Hi, patrick, thank you for having me. How are you? I'm doing great. It's so incredibly good to have you here, jerry, and we were chatting before the program. We almost missed our start because we were just having such a great conversation. So tell me about you, yeah.

Speaker 3: 3:57

I'm just your average guy from Glasgow, united Kingdom. Scotland is the country that I reside in. As you touched on, I've entered the world of entrepreneurialism both through business and professional sport, and I guess I've just found myself here by embracing the journey that largely. I largely started that journey after the experience, failure, by attempting to try and become a professional sportsman myself, and it's quite a competitive industry and at the end of the day I wasn't good enough to make it to the level that I wanted to.

Speaker 3: 4:34

And I think when that realisation hits you as a young man 21, 22 year old it almost feels real life's taken from you and I respect that. You focus so much on it and that's your desire, your drive and your passion. And then you're left with this uncertainty as, essentially as a kid, you know you're a young man, but you're still a child, mentally, I guess. And um, if only I could go back and give the young guy at 21, 22 some advice. It would be don't panic and enjoy the ride. And now, as I'm, you know, double that age. I'm now, you know, more than that I'm 44.

Speaker 3: 5:12

I'm just enjoying what I'm doing and I'm pretty much fearless now, whereas with upbringing I had the social conditions that I was brought up in and then the early life experiences I had of, you know, worry, fear. My mum brought us up herself. You know, we didn't have, we didn't have any material wealth or any financial resource behind us. We're quite, quite poor. So you, you live in a world of uncertainty and then when you get rejection after rejection, you just kind of somehow have to break that cycle. Yeah, um, find myself now the age that I'm at. I don't know if I've broken a cycle, but I've embraced where I am, who I am, what I am and what I stand for, and it's, I just think there's so many lessons out there for all of us to learn. There's always hope for every one of us, but it's a mindset shift and I guess that's something I'm happy to share with anyone. Just go and embrace it, be honest, and if you can help someone along the way, then I think that's what to do.

Speaker 1: 6:10

Jerry, you said that if you could go back in time, you would tell your younger self to enjoy the ride and don't panic. What else would you tell a 21-year-old version of Jerry? Don't get married.

Speaker 3: 6:21

Oh really no, I say that quite in jest. Um, I think I would give so much advice. It would be you know, travel the world, experience new cultures. Um, experience the identities of everyone, the experience the disciplines of the different continents, and I think that particularly states what one of the States, one of the privileges of speaking to yourself is that you're so well-versed across so many states of the USA. I've only had the privilege of seeing five or six of them and I think it's a tremendous country and there's so much education out there, there's so much opportunity out there, just in your land alone.

Speaker 3: 7:03

I look at the UK and it's, in many respects it's miles behind. It's almost quite backwards over here. A lot of people from america are attracted to london, you know, but it's right, but it's not the bright lights that that it, that it claims to be. Um, I think there's far more opportunity in america and in australia than we have here in the uk. It's quite restrictive. So I would probably say you, you know, get out, travel, meet new people, embrace new cultures, embrace new ideas and find those that serve you best to help you grow, because it's only through traveling and opening up your own horizons and your own mind that you are going to grow spiritually and as a human, and that can only be good for your life and for your own prosperity.

Speaker 1: 7:46

Well, that's really great advice and you know, I wish I had been given similar advice when I was a young man. You had a very humble beginning. You said you had a single mom and you were quite poor, and you talked about the social conditions that you grew up in, and evidently those all had a very serious and consequential impact on your life in some ways In other respects, they molded and shaped you into the person that you've become today. When you look back at your humble beginnings, I wonder if you can take us back and share some pivotal moments that helped shape your path and helped define who you are just it's a very good reflection to to put on me and it's also quite a quite a deep, a deep place to go.

Speaker 3: 8:36

I guess what I appreciated from a very young age. My family were immigrants to scotland from ireland. My grandparents you. They had to flee civil war where they were affected by the there's a thing called the Black and Tans. If you go back in Irish history they were quite a barbaric force. So my grandparents had to flee there and set up home in Scotland. And at that time in Scotland you know the Irish weren't accepted. You know we opened arms. There was a there's imagery around that says you know we open arms. There was a there's imagery around that says you know, no blacks, no dogs, no Irish. And you know, and that harder, so that right away, I think the social conditioning of my family, my background, was one of that. You had to fight to survive and that was evident through some of the jobs that growing up was where my grandparents had. My grandmother walked, you know, 15 miles a day to and from her work. Wow, she was a cleaner. She cleaned a woman's house and she walked 15 miles a day until she was 74 years old.

Speaker 3: 9:37

The education I got as a kid was that time was really important, although I didn't appreciate the significance of it. What I say by that is on a Sunday you would frequently have a family dinner. You'd all get together and you'd make your own entertainment through playing cards, sharing stories, singing songs. Everyone was a singer, you know. Even though none of us could sing, everyone was a comedian. Even though none of these were funny and you would. You would find you would find um, you would find that that connection through just being around people.

Speaker 3: 10:11

So I guess what I was aware of very acutely was that time was the best gift that I had to give anyone, because of nothing else. And I found myself in situations that I was going visiting people, you know people who had similar backgrounds and maybe didn't have any money. You'd go and bring them a bag of messages, messages at groceries. You would pick up groceries and bring them and visit people who were housebound, or you'd just spend time with people who didn't have anyone, and that was, I think that was, it was an education of giving. You know, I was always kind of brought up to give, not because you wanted anything in return, but because it's nice to let other people feel valued and respected and to have their place. So that was one of the big ones that you know, if you don't have money to give and you don't have any material items to give, the best thing, I still think, the best thing you can give someone is your time and the kind of consideration of your presence. You know that's I I agree.

Speaker 1: 11:08

You know, what what really strikes me in that story is is how you summed it up right there, at the very end. You were poor in material wealth, but you have this rich, this richness of experiences with family and friends and sharing and giving, and you summed it up in the most succinct way the best thing you can give is the gift of yourself with time. Yeah, and money can't replace that. No, you know, in the Bible it says that the love of money is the root of all evil. I've told people in the past, you know, money cannot buy happiness. It can, however, pay off misery, you know. So, jerry, that's just a great story and I wish more people could tune into that.

Speaker 1: 11:57

If we give ourselves, and then what was really striking also to me is even somebody with meager means, if you found somebody that was even less fortunate than you, you would bring them what you could in terms of groceries and things like that. That undoubtedly had a significant impact in your path and in your life and shaped your character when you were early in your career. You mentioned that you faced a lot of adversity becoming a sportsman, professional sports, soccer player. What was the story there? And take us through the evolution of those situations and where did you eventually, and how did you eventually find success?

Speaker 3: 12:37

Yeah, again, there's a bit of deep reflection required to do that. But what, um? Because of the social environment that I was brought up in and the fact that I didn't have a, I could honestly say, on reflection, I didn't have a happy childhood, um, although my mum tried everything and we had a good family around us. But when you, when you're missing something, you're missing it. You know it's and as a child, you can't identify what is you're missing. It's only I think it's only through adult eyes, looking back, that you can see what you've missed, whether it's nourishment or whether it's a father figure or you know, whether it's you know or whatever it is you know. As a kid it's almost impossible to identify that. So at the age of 15 I was, I was offered trials with several football clubs in England. I went to the trials and one of them quite liked the look of me and when I got the opportunity to explore it further, I think because of my own adversity that I grew up with and the self-doubt, getting that opportunity itself was a success for me, when in fact it should have been the start of a new journey and the bit that now, as an adult looking back on it, that I can clearly identify with was that I missed having a dad. I missed that guidance from a father figure that could mentor me through the transition from getting an escape from where I was into getting this opportunity to be a professional sportsman at the level I wanted. And then the crucial part on top of that was how do you take it to the next level to make sure that you're a professional sportsman who's in demand and at the demand of other clubs? And those were the two crucial components that I didn't have. I didn't have them in my wardrobe largely because of, you know, the upbringing that I had. You know you had to fight for everything, and one of my mum's sayings, you know, was you're the man of the house. You know I was eight years old. Oh wow, you know, as an eight-year-old kid, your perception of what a man is. You miss out on a lot. I had a paper round when I was 10. You know. And I'm selling milk and rolls and bananas and stuff around the doors at the age of 12. So you walk to a corner shop mopping the floors and stuff, so you get the. You've got the work ethic. There is a fight or flight element to it. The work ethic's either there or it's not.

Speaker 3: 15:00

And I think what's lost in that is the enjoyment of life at a young age, and when you're presented with such a great opportunity, you don't realise you've got the opportunity because you've earned it. You think the opportunity's there because you know it's. You don't believe you're worthy of being there. I think that's probably what I'm trying to say, because nothing good happens to you, you know you're socially conditioned in such a way that everything's, you know the world's not great and and nothing's going to work for you. And then you find yourself with the gates open and you just go. You can't embrace it because you're not accustomed to, to having that, um, that maturity or that vision, even, and you know, a couple of years down track from there you're then discarded because you you haven't taken the opportunity that someone's given you, but the.

Speaker 3: 15:47

You then reflect back on self-doubt and it's a reaffirming belief that, oh well, you know I'm not good enough anyway. So it's you're reaffirming a negative belief that you went into the project with, and that's the cycle that it took a long way to break. You know it is becoming an adult figure. Um, yeah, if you expect failure, you'll get failure, um, and that's why I'm saying you know, don't be afraid now, because I expect everything's going to be okay. You know, even if I'm facing the biggest shitstorm in the world, I'll I know that it's going to be all right. Um, I don't know how, I don't know why, I know that, but but I just know that everything's always going to be okay. It's just a moment in time. I why I know that, but I just know that everything's always going to be okay.

Speaker 1: 16:25

It's just a moment in time. I agree, you know, that intentionality that you have in believing everything's going to be all right. I think that's a required element and I've talked to a lot of people and a lot of successful people, and they all have a very similar mindset, jerry, in a couple of ways. One, they do not deal with negative talk, and that's a cycle that a lot of us grow up with. You know, I'm not good enough. I don't deserve this. I didn't earn it. I'm not good.

Speaker 1: 17:00

Yours in its early stages of such adversity, being told as an eight-year-old well, you're the man of the house now and having to work different odd jobs, whatever you can, to bring money into the house what a huge responsibility. I don't know many people that could make it through that and end up being as successful as you have been. So clearly, at some point you were able to turn that around and, as you said, now my attitude is I don't know how I'm going to make it, but I know I'm always going to make it and that kind of resilience that is brought about by, you know, grit and determination. You talked about this fight or flight response and you know.

Speaker 1: 17:39

There's a few other things, I think, that come into play. One of them is called RAS, where you know, basically, you, you see what you're expecting and it's it's almost like this confirmation bias, and so now you're expecting good things and so those good things, that's what's coming to you. So, man, my, my hat's off to you. I'm assuming at some point you realize this and you were able to enjoy the fruits of your labor. You were clearly successful in leadership and soccer and in business. The transition that happened there is what. There's a story there there's got to be, yeah.

Speaker 3: 18:16

Well, there's actually. The story is actually intertwined with my youth. Through my attempts to make it as a professional sportsman. I was always regarded as a leader and when I look back now, I've kept everything in a scrapbook all the matches you play in the coverage that you get in the media. Social media now has changed everything, but back when I was a kid it was newspaper cuttings and so I've kept all the newspaper cuttings of where I've scored a goal or where I've played well. I kept all the references from my managers and so on. And it's only now when I sit down, my own son I've got I'm blessed, I've got two beautiful kids, my son's 13 and when I sit down with him and I show him the portfolio of newspaper cuttings and so on, this thing about being a leader has been consistent throughout my whole life.

Speaker 3: 19:05

But I wasn't actually aware of it until I was probably 25, 26 years old. So I knew I was a captain of the team, I knew I was responsible, I knew I could achieve and survive because, as I said, paper round at 8 year old and milk round at 10 year old and working on a building site like 13, 14 and stuff that survival instinct was always in me, but I didn't appreciate it for what it was. To me, it was just a, it was just a routine of I have to do this to get, to get through right, whereas if I had a bit more maturity and a bit more guidance and even a mentor, I would have been retired at 25. You know, wow. You know, because the opportunities that that were present to me that I just didn't identify with because I I didn't see them as opportunities, I seen them as tools to survival, do you know? And I was out labouring with a guy he's dead now, god rest him but he had me out labouring with him from the age of 14. If I could go, if I could go back now there was. If I could go back now, there's absolutely nothing to stop me setting up my own labouring business at 16,. You know, when it becomes legal, do you know? And it's these things that they're nuanced, but it's these things that I missed in my early formative years because I thought you had to work to survive, whereas now I view it as you have to create to survive. Good point, you know, and it's just that difference.

Speaker 3: 20:23

And I guess what happened was, um, this guy gave me a chance in 2001, a guy by the name of dan cameron, and he gave me a chance at a sales job, something I'd never, ever done in my life. Um and uh. When I got that job, I brought the principles of work, ethic, drive and not giving in into a telecanvassing role. Have you ever seen the movie Pursuit of Happiness with Will Smith? Yes, right, you know the bit. He's sitting on the phone and he's scoring out the paper. Yeah, I can relate to that, because that was my life for eight months and that was life-changing for me. Now that film only came out about 10 years ago, but 2001,.

Speaker 3: 21:05

You know, I was the equivalent of Will Smith sitting here in Glasgow, sitting on the telephone trying to get someone to buy photocopiers from me. You know the big printers? Yeah, that's what my job was, and what that did was it gave me access to wealth that I'd never experienced before, and although money was never my motivator, my burning desire was to get as much money as I could to help others who had helped me. So, like my nana she's dead now used to go out to my nana's with her groceries and again, my time, and she didn't want for anything. I could send my mum on holiday, I could buy her things and look after her and I.

Speaker 3: 21:46

I then exposed myself a lifestyle of like travel and experience and I was grateful for what I was, what I was experiencing, but I tied that back into well, I'm successful, what I'm doing, because the principles I'm applying right, and what that's given me is this great exposure to. That's how I got to the States, because I sat hitting a telephone, scoring out lines, and it gave me enough money to chase a dream and visit the USA and I loved it that much. I've been back several times since and that's all through picking up a phone and speaking to people and being honest and giving them something that they need, identifying a gap and giving them a bridge to go over it. But you build a relationship in the process and the beauty is you get paid for it.

Speaker 1: 22:30

You have such this incredible sense of humility and humbleness about you that just blows me away, because you're a very successful person in what you've been able to accomplish, particularly within the last 10 years. You really just needed somebody to give you a break, which, Mr Cameron, you said, did give you that break that you were looking for and you took that, and it must have just blown your mind when it opened your eyes to this world of you said great wealth and things like that. But your approach is what I think kept you grounded. It wasn't for the sake of money. It was for the sake of what you could do with that money in terms of helping other people.

Speaker 3: 23:09

Yeah, and they're still the same principles that I have today. I wish I could make a bit of a change, because I'm still very generous with what I have, but sometimes to my own detriment Do you know what I mean? But sometimes to my own detriment, you know, and that's. I think that's the next transition in my life that I need to adapt to and make a change to, because I'm now. What I'm doing now is I'm trying to leave a legacy almost, or leave a stability behind for the next generations of my family and my driver.

Speaker 3: 23:40

For that, believe it or not, is that when I go to the graveyard, to my nana's grave or my great-grandparents and so on, they, when I know the struggles that they had coming to, coming to scotland and not getting jobs because of their name and their ethnicity. If I can give, if I've broken that mold and I can leave for my own kids and my own nieces and nephews, then who's to say where their lives can't go? Do you know it's? They've got a. Give them a great opportunity and the world's become such a smaller place now as well, with such a great opportunity for everyone to to prosper and grow. I believe you've already broken it.

Speaker 1: 24:16

Broken the mold because you have. You have become what you never had. You mentioned. You had a 13 yearyear-old son and another child I didn't catch if it was a boy or a girl.

Speaker 3: 24:26

No, it's a girl.

Speaker 1: 24:27

It's a girl. So you're the father of two children, and that's something you never had. You never had that father figure or role model, you said, in your life. So in so many respects, jerry, you've already broken this and I think you are beginning to realize that now again, but you have such a sense of humbleness and this kind spirit that transcends this vast distance between us and I can really get a sense for it and of who you are when you were dealing with these sports leagues. It's mentioned in your bio that you encountered a lot of corruption in sports. Is that something you are comfortable talking about?

Speaker 3: 25:10

Yeah, I think that I for a period of time they call them intermediaries, so it's a football agent and I think when Moan attempts at making it as a professional footballer didn't come to fruition again, by default my automatic setting is to try and help others stay in the game, because I know how the failure feels and I know sometimes it's bad luck that causes it, sometimes it's bad circumstance that causes it. Sometimes it's bad circumstance, sometimes it's just a lack of ability. I think in my own case it was maybe a mixture of not quite enough ability and not the right mindset. But when you've gone through that journey and you've experienced that, I think it puts me in a good place to educate kids and try and help kids to stay in the game, because it's a very lucrative career. So naturally I viewed myself like a recruitment agent for to educate kids and try and help kids to stay in the game, because it's a very lucrative career. So naturally I viewed myself like a recruitment agent for kids, which essentially is an agent, and it's only when you're in there that you then see how some football clubs operate. And it's not. Don't get me wrong, I'm not. This isn't why I didn't make a career in the game, but there are some clubs that it's backdoor deals that get kids careers. It's nothing to do with how good they are, it's nothing to do with how fortunate they are. It's because someone's got a big pot of cash that they're willing to share around, and I guess it's just like business at any level. It can be bought, and football or soccer is no different to any other industry in the world. If anything, it's possibly a bit more open to corruption, because you've got so many players on so many different continents that I've got so many different people wanting a cut of that pie. Now I'm involved in football directly, you know, as a director and a director of football.

Speaker 3: 27:00

Some of the approaches that you get from agents are, um, some can be quite clandestine, some can be quite, um, untoward, and I guess it's just your own integrity that guides you as to whether or not you're going to play that game or not. Um, right, but my, my inherent view on it is that my job is to support my football manager, and if he doesn't want to play, then I won't sign him because it's his job. That's in the line. I'm the one that wants to sleep well at night, knowing that I've given him every opportunity to do his job correctly. So the standards of professionalism and integrity then come into play.

Speaker 3: 27:33

So there's a guy I worked along with a guy who kindly brought me into his club and he said he was uncorruptible, and I know what he means. I actually get what he means and I guess it's just like any other industry that's lucrative. You're always going to have people that are opportunists and it's only when you see it for what it is that you think, wow, there's so many kids out there that deserve a chance who are not getting it. There's so many other senior players who don't get the chance just because someone's got a price on their head and they've got the right movers and shakers to help them get into positions that otherwise they wouldn't get into.

Speaker 1: 28:10

I hear you. I think you're right. I think corruption is pervasive, not just within sports but in the business world, and ultimately, what it comes down to is personal integrity, and that's something that's very hard to teach. Yeah, I can't. I can't really teach somebody to have integrity. It's, it's something you you either have it intrinsically or you don't. I think you can teach ethics, you can teach a code of ethics, but at the end of the day, you can teach a code of ethics, but at the end of the day, integrity is, is about that moral compass I think you said it best so that at night you can lay down and go to sleep.

Speaker 3: 28:51

Yeah, and I think for me it's a feeling, it's a. It comes from within and it's just like anything. If you, if you do good for someone, you get a dopamine hit from it or most people get a dopamine hit from it and and you know you've done good in business. Certainly I've got my own business away from football. And again, it's about trying to do the right things as best as you can with a view to to doing right by others, and it's all about the brand. It's all about the brand. It's all about how you're perceived by others and the lengths that you're prepared to go to. And I would rather earn less money to make someone happy to build a relationship that's long-term than run away into the sunset with the profit. And I tie that back into the integrity piece, the corruption part that you mentioned. I've experienced that against me.

Speaker 3: 29:41

I worked for a company in London. The two guys who owned it were big hitters, you know they done really well for themselves, and I left that company to set up my own business. So naturally you're a target for these guys and they basically put the blockers on me dealing with a specific finance company so that I couldn't fund my own business, you know. So that that's corruption, um? And then when you, when you pursue the finance company to find out what the issues are, they basically tell you you're not big enough for us to deal with. You think that's a lot of nonsense, you know, I know, I know what the truth is, but I think corruption exists in so many different ways, shapes and forms and I'm pretty much to the view that it's not going to stop me doing what I'm doing. That's right.

Speaker 1: 30:24

There's always a different avenue one of the things I see in you is that empowering others really seems to be a key part of your philosophy in life. How do you incorporate that into your particular leadership style?

Speaker 3: 30:35

that's quite challenging, patrick, because that leaves you open. It leaves you open to to all sorts of challenges that, again, you probably don't have the tools to deal with. I don't think that anyone deserves to to force anyone into doing anything. You know. So the old, the old workplaces, if you like, were the micromanagement piece. If you don't do this, you're going to get sacked and all this kind of nonsense. I think you get more out of people if you allow them to work on their own initiative and give them a bit of encouragement. But the challenge with that is if they step over the line and then you have to draw them back in a bit, you're running the risk of damage in that relationship because you're, they see you in a different way to the guy that's trying to empower them and motivate them and and and develop them.

Speaker 3: 31:16

I think that I'm firmly with the mindset, because of how I work, that I'm trying to build people up to, for them to grow so that so they'll leave and go and do their own things. And it's weird, you tie things back into your childhood so that there was a program I think it was an american program called the littlest hobo. It was about a dog, I don't know if you remember that. Yeah, and the theme tune to that. You know there's a road that keeps on calling me down the roads where i'm'm going to be. That's kind of the story of my life. Every stop I take, I make a new friend, I'm just hanging around for a bit and then I'm going again.

Speaker 3: 31:49

So I think that it's very, very similar to how my life's panned out. If I meet someone, I'll try and embrace them and I'll try and enrich the relationship because I feel good about doing that and I've got an acceptance that they're going to move on and I just hope that they move on with the same integrity that I met them with and not to do any damage to me and my business. You know that's the yeah. So I think the empowerment for me is that there's so many people out there who don't know their own value, they don't know their own strength, capabilities and they don't know their own strength, capabilities and worth. And I just think my time in God's earth is to try and help people realize their own worth, their own value and their own opportunity, at the very least, because you're giving them power and control over themselves and you're giving people a freedom and a mindset that they can achieve. I think that's pretty key.

Speaker 1: 32:37

Yeah, I would think that that philosophy could have the possibility of making you very vulnerable, which I get the sense that that doesn't bother you at all. In fact, it's something that you very much so embrace. Is it often the case that you see, or have you experienced, someone taking advantage of that and using it for their own gain, to your detriment?

Speaker 3: 32:58

then Pretty frequently Maybe not so much now, but again, as I was learning about who I was and how I functioned and what triggered me, I look plenty of people have taken advantage of me. There's a bit of me that's my nana God rest her used to say that was generous to a fault, and I never knew what that meant. I never, ever understood what that meant, and it's only now that people sometimes take the decency for daftness right. Right, and I, because of how, because of how I am, I allowed the. I allowed some people to maybe take, take liberties with what I was giving them.

Speaker 3: 33:39

So in the workplace, for example, within my own business, I'm a completely different person to the person that I am in the professional sports world, because in the professional sports world, I'm doing a job for the owner of the club and I'm trying to protect him. So I view my job as to protect him at all costs Right. So I'll do what needs done the way it needs done and I'll do it with. I'll do what needs done the way it needs done and I'll do it with a diligence and I'll do it with a swiftness that maybe unnerves people In my own business, because the buck stops with me. I'm more tolerant of poor performance. I'm more tolerant of people bringing problems from outside the workplace, whether it's domestic abuse or addiction or whatever. I'm more tolerant of that because I think I've only thought I had a place in their lives to help build them up, when in fact now what I realize is that their, their problems, aren't my problems. I'm giving them a sanctuary, almost, but given a workplace, it's free from that and it's up to them to embrace it.

Speaker 3: 34:36

But I actually I took on the role of responsibility for the person as well, because I, you know, I felt an empathy for them that I thought I could. You'd probably try to be a saviour for them, and that's not my job, that wasn't my role. And again, that comes with a sobering reality that you need to know your place. So, yeah, there's been lots of people that have taken advantage of it, because the sob story would always work with me, right, because I would always think it might come good. It might come good. And what I've learned from moving back into the professional sports world is that I don't tolerate that at all. I've got a zero tolerance on non-compliance and and so on, because I'm actually. The irony is I'm protecting someone else right, you know, so can protect.

Speaker 1: 35:20

So you're being, you're being tempered really. I mean, uh, I think it's. Uh, it sounds to me like you're still working some of that out, you know, in your own business yeah, oh, definitely yeah, 100, and that's and that's part of my own growth.

Speaker 3: 35:34

You know that's. You know, if I could bring my wife in, my wife quite, um, quite blunt, you know she, when I sit and talk about situations with her, she looks at me and I know exactly why she's looking at me the way she is, you know. But, yeah, I'm gonna talk to that as well. It might come good, you know, and you know you have to go and learn through past lessons yeah, you, you said.

Speaker 1: 35:56

you said something that uh made me smile, because we have a very similar saying here in the US and it's called. It says don't mistake my kindness for weakness. Yeah, and the fact is, my wife and I have have tried to help people in the past, and in some cases we too have been taken advantage of, and for a while my thought was it made me feel very bitter, and then I realized I didn't want those experiences to change who I am fundamentally, and so I took steps to make sure we were protected, financially and otherwise. But we still try to help people as much as we can within our means, but I think we approach it now in a way that, as I said, protects us from harm.

Speaker 3: 36:43

Yeah, that's wise and that's noble of you to still keep doing that as well. I think one of the best phrases I ever heard was from a good friend of mine. He's an Irish lad and he always says who cares? That's his who cares and he, if I go to my problem, he's like who cares? What does it matter? Are you healthy? Is your family healthy? Who cares? It's yesterday's news. Nobody cares.

Speaker 3: 37:17

When it really boils down to it, we're all in a solo journey through life and it's who we choose to bring into our lives. That either enriches or enrages, and I don't get. The bitterness is not something that I have for anyone, even people who have really gone out their way to damage me, whether it's in business or whether it's in the sports world. I don't have the energy to waste on bitterness because I think that I do genuinely believe that if you get that bitter sentiment inside you, you'll attract more of it, whereas if you just accept it for people are who they are and it's not my problem so many other doors open. It's an energy thing, it's a frequency. Um, yeah, and it's funny how it just changes your life. You know you, even at the most challenging times in my life, something always comes up that that gives you a bit of hope or that changes the course of where you thought you were going for the better some people call that karma, but I think, in more practical terms, it's really just focusing on what's important.

Speaker 1: 38:19

Yeah, you know, like your friend, who's like, who cares, you know who cares. Focus on what's important, keep, keep doing what you think is right, what ultimately supports your values and your integrity, and who cares about all the other little details, little somehow, to your point. I don't know how it's going to work out, I just know it's going to work out yeah, yeah, because I trust myself to make it work, because I've I've got a.

Speaker 3: 38:46

I've got a responsibility to do that. I've got a beautiful daughter who's 10. I've got a beautiful son who's 13, and I just want them to be proud of their dad, because the the biggest gift that I had through through not having a father in my household growing up, was that he inadvertently that taught me how to be a dad, you know, and that's what a blessing that was. So it's something that, as a kid growing up, that I resented and that I missed dearly. It's turned out to be one of the biggest gifts that I could ever have had, do you know, because the time and the experiences with my kids that I have and the love that I can give them openly, is that's what I yearned for when I was growing up, you know, and I genuinely believe that was my life path, because that's what I needed to get me to here. And then who's to say what's coming next?

Speaker 1: 39:36

We don't know. Yeah it's. It's funny, you know, when we think about our past and you're like, well, I wish it had been different in this way or that way. It's easy to go back and and and kind of. We call that monday morning, monday morning quarterbacking. Yeah, it's easy to go back and think like that, but the fact of the matter is it was all of it was the totality of those circumstances that brought you to the point of where you're at now. So if you could go back and change it, you may alter the trajectory of your life in such a way that you wouldn't be here now in the way that you are.

Speaker 3: 40:09

It really is your experiences and the formative years that make who you are today and I am where I am today. I believe God, or whoever's, got a plan for us all. I believe that I am where I am today for a reason and that's my life's journey. But I do still believe that as well, if I could go back with the knowledge and hindsight that I've got and knowing that everything will be okay, that I'd be far more advanced in my life from where I'm just now if you're you, you mentioned I think you called it your nana or your grandma yeah you're now.

Speaker 1: 40:43

If your nana could look down on you today and I'm sure she, I'm sure she does then, but if she could talk to you and say something to you, what do you think she would say about the man you've become and the in the family that you have and the success that you've had? What do you think she would say to you?

Speaker 3: 40:59

she probably kicked my backside for some of the mistakes I keep making, and I'd like to think she'd be proud of me because she instilled values into me. You know as a kid that, yeah, that I live and breathe daily. You know I go to a graveside as often as I can to thank her for for what she's given me. You know, and in the time that I had her and she didn't she never had the opportunity to to enjoy my kids, but I'm grateful for the lessons that she gave me, that I can pass on to them and and I speak about her all the time in front of them, so it almost feels like she's a great gran. Yeah, if you ask my kids, you'd think they knew her just because of the stories and the photos and the memories and stuff that are shared. So I'd like to think she'd be proud of that, because she's a proud Irish woman. So I'd like to think she'd be proud of that.

Speaker 1: 41:52

I think she would say that I think she would, and I can kind of relate to that story in some ways, because I never met my wife's mother, but in so many ways I feel like I've I've met her and that I know her just in the ways that my wife has talked about her over the years. I I I remember looking at my wife one day and I thought you remind me so much of your mother, and then I thought, wait a minute, I've never even met your mom. But for me, you know, even though we've never, obviously ever met the so many stories that I've heard of her, I feel like I know her in that way, and that's probably what it's like for your kids.

Speaker 3: 42:27

Yeah, and I think that's an expression I love Patrick. Obviously your wife's the way I love patrick. Obviously your wife's the way she speaks to her mom. That's, that's real genuine love and affection. Yeah, you know, and you carry it with you. And again it goes back to the money, the money thing. There's not an amount of money in the world could replace what I feel when I think of my nana yeah, you talked a little bit about you.

Speaker 1: 42:49

You know, now I want to create a legacy for your family and you know I'm a big advocate of that.

Speaker 1: 42:56

And I've said in the past and I try to do this in my own life you know, every week I try to work on something that's going to outlive me. Yeah, something that is not temporal, something that is not, you know, it's not money, but it's something that is tangible, that will outlive me, that one day, my kids and my grandkids, maybe my great grandkids, who knows will be able to say and my grandkids call me pop, because I, I'm 55, but I was like, you know what, I'm too old to be a grandfather, or I'm too young to be a grandfather. Yeah, so call me pop. So they call me pop and I, you know, maybe one day they'll, they'll look back and you know they'll hold this thing or, you know, have this thing and be like this is what pop was about. And, uh, and because I want to create a legacy for my kids too, what, what kind of things are you doing in terms of building a legacy for your family?

Speaker 3: 43:47

I think, um, there's a number of things you know, but where I've got a legacy that will be etched in history and this is something I'm eternally grateful for is my work in the world of professional football. Since I've been working with the club, we've enjoyed promotion, so I've played my part in the history of a professional sports club that's 150 years old this year in Scotland Wow. So that'll be in the history books and it'll be part of that history. I buy and sell the players for the club and negotiate the contracts, so that's a legacy in the football world that I'm eternally grateful that I've had the opportunity to participate in. Now, the success that the team's enjoyed is not because of the job I've done, it's because of the manager and the players, but to have played my part in that and for that to be recorded as a historical achievement is something that I know my son is proud of just now and I know that's something that will outlive me until the football club either die or to mankind stops. It will be there, it's done, it's dusted and it's recorded.

Speaker 3: 45:00

Away from that, I've got a real desire again, through professional sport, to build an academy for kids that doesn't cost kids money to participate in. So, like I said, in the States I know soccer's quite an expensive sport to be educated and coached in and I've got this desire over here because there's still a lot of poverty in Scotland and there's a lot of financial inequality. I've got this desire to build an academy for kids where they've got free access to soccer pitches and coaching, because it's a good discipline to have. It's good to prevent obesity in kids, it's a great education for kids to have.

Speaker 3: 45:37

Team sports and ball sports, I think, are vital to the curriculum anywhere your fitness, your mobility, your suppleness, your stamina and so on. So, if you like, the legacy that I'm keen to build and leave behind is geared around that for the benefit of other kids. And I've got my own business that I'll be passing on to my children, you know, and it's up to them if they, if they sell it, they can put me in a nice nursing home when I'm, when I'm too old. I would hope they do that. But again, it's just to try and future proof them as best as I can.

Speaker 1: 46:11

Does your son or daughter have any inclination to be a sports player?

Speaker 3: 46:18

Honestly, what a great question. My son has got this desire to be a sports player and this is where I have a contradiction in myself. He because of how I've brought him up. You know you don't get a rule but you don't get a, an instruction manual. You become a dad, as you know. You know that's right.

Speaker 3: 46:36

And because of what I missed out on my son was brought up, we, we love affection, cuddles and cuddles and praise and you know all sorts of protection and I I feel guilty that I've I've taken away his natural response to fight or flight by always providing. So I've created such a loving kid but he's soft as putty and because of that I think that's an inhibitor on him becoming a sports person. You know he's got a sweet tooth, he doesn't like training hard, his diet's not great, but he's got a lot more ability than I ever had. And there's a sad irony for me in there, because when I look at him and I look how gifted he is with both of his feet and his vision on a soccer field, the qualities I didn't have.

Speaker 3: 47:24

I was a fighter, I was tenacious and I was getting into tackles to hit people hard to make a mark in the game, partly because I had that rage inside me and the football was an escape to get that out. So I very quickly formed a reputation of being quite tough on a soccer field. And I look at my son and he's so gifted and so skilled but he's not got the attributes to go and train hard, to eat properly or to fight. He doesn't have them and I put that down to how I've got it wrong as a dad, you know, by bringing it up in such a soft way and it's weird. That's a tough one for me to take. I think about that all the time.

Speaker 1: 48:07

You know, gerry, here's the thing. You did not have a dad growing up and you nailed it when you said there's not an instruction manual. Yeah, when you have a child, nobody gives you an instruction manual. This is how to be a dad, and the fact is you did the very best that you knew how to do, and that is something that continues to evolve in you every single day, as, uh, you, as you, as you grow and and learn and mature.

Speaker 1: 48:34

You know, I know, in my own life, time has tempered me in a lot of ways, the guy I am today is quite a bit different than a 30 year old version of me. Uh, you know, if I could go back in time, I'd probably go back in time and kick my ass, because you know what I mean. Um, but, uh, I've never done this before, but I would like to offer this to you. I wrote a book called the Modern Gentleman, ok, and I wrote it with the idea of you know, as young men, we don't have a book, yeah, and so it's kind of like this dad advice, and I want to. You know, after the show, if you will, if you will email me your address, I'm going to send you a copy of that book and if it, if it can help you or your son, then that, then that would be fantastic and I would like to do that for you. But all I can say is you know, just just keep doing what you know how to do.

Speaker 1: 49:21

Nobody, nobody's perfect and um, and I've made, I made tons of mistakes, as as a father. But the most important thing is, you're there, you love them, you're supporting them, you're encouraging them, as your friend would say. All about the other stuff who cares? Yeah, you know who cares. It's going to work itself out. Yeah, he's still a young guy, he's got a ways to go yet, and this is, you know, this is a really confusing world to be 13 years old in it, really old and it really is.

Speaker 3: 49:50

That's horrible, isn't it? I think, in a lot of ways, the generational shift. I was fortunate I grew up when I grew up, because now you've got the, you get the whole social media piece where, yeah, we've got a pressure on on how they look and you know the aesthetics world. Wow. I mean, if you want a millionaire, get yourself involved in that. But why would you know, no kidding why would you want to change how you've been gifted to be? You know, unless you're unlucky, we have a really bad accident or a or some sort of deformity, but why change what you're being blessed with? I can't get my head around that, do you know? And it's just, it's a weird, weird. You're right enough.

Speaker 1: 50:25

It's a crazy world we're in in that respect yeah, I mean, I'm frankly I'm glad I grew up, grew up in the age I grew up in. I was a child of the 70s and 80s. Yeah, and I look very fondly back on those times and I realize that makes me sound really old. You know, back in my day it was so much. I get that. I know that I'm turning into the old guy.

Speaker 1: 50:45

But you know, I look at my grandkids. I'm afraid for them. You know, I've got, I've got a 10 year old granddaughter who's got a cell phone already. Yeah, and I'm just like, oh my God, that's nuts. The internet is just full of vileness and wickedness. And so I'm always telling my, my daughter and my son-in-law you really need to watch what you know. And they do they're, they're great parents. They're like you know, they're doing their very best, just like I did my very best. And we all make mistakes and I'm not trying to suggest otherwise, but you know, it's just those kinds of things I look at and I'm like, wow, I'm so glad I don't have young kids in this day and age. I just I can't even imagine what you're having to go through. Jerry, we're coming at the end of our time. You've got a couple of minutes, anything you want to close with, anything you want to share. If you've got a website or anything that you're promoting, this is a great opportunity.

Speaker 3: 51:39

Yeah, no, I think I'm just. You know. The only thing I would say is that anyone out there who's experiencing a tough time or who's feeling down on himself or doesn't feel that they've got a value there's a wee saying there's always hope, but you just have to go and find it and only you're responsible for you. Your life can be as good as bad as you want it to be, but it's really down to the individual. And I think if you go and embrace like I said at the start, if you embrace life for what it is and be comfortable with it, it will be one hell of a good journey, because every negative is an education.

Speaker 1: 52:19

Jerry, such a great time talking with you. I've really, really enjoyed chatting with you today. It was such an incredible story of resilience. I'm glad we got to have this talk. On Monday's show we're going to have Kathleen Riley. She's a neuroplasticity expert and so I guess I got to figure out what that is between now and Monday, because that's a new one on me. Again, Jerry, great chatting with you. Hang on. After the show, Let me see if I can get your address. Everybody. Thank you so much for joining us in this episode. We'll catch you next time, Take care.

Speaker 4: 52:52

Thanks for listening to the Patrick Bass Show. The Patrick Bass Show is copyright 2024, all rights reserved. Patrick's passion is to open up any and all conversations, because in this day and age, the snowflakes are scared to get real. We'll fly that flag till the very end, that we can promise you. Keep updated by liking our Facebook page at Real Patrick Bass. For more information, visit us on the web at wwwpwbasscom. Thanks for listening and tune in next time for more real talk on the Patrick Bass Show.